Henry and the Fictionals

FADE IN:

HENRY, 20s, frantically types on his laptop. A dreamer with the boulder of reality on his back. Unshaven with baggy eyes and wrinkled clothes. A stressed-out mess.

The walls of his cluttered room are plastered with various adventure and science fiction movie posters. Screenwriting books fill a nearby shelf.

As he types...

Adios, ya bag of bones!

DR. WALTER BOBCAT, 30s, a rugged, foolhardy treasure hunter, materializes behind Henry, carrying a shiny medallion.

He drops the medallion onto Henry’s desk.

Here, take this!

Henry pauses, tempted, but ignores it. Dr. Bobcat looks at the screen.

Wouldn’t hurt to jazz things up a bit, ya know? Give it some style.

A moaning sounds. Dr. Bobcat grabs the medallion, grimacing. WHAM! He’s suddenly tackled by a lurching MUMMY.

Dr. Bobcat throws several punches. No effect. The Mummy pins him to Henry’s bed, reaching for the medallion.

Dr. Bobcat throws it away. The Mummy chokes him. He tries to break free, but to no avail. Is this the end?

RING! “MOM” appears on Henry’s caller ID. He answers.

Hi, Mom.

He sees the time on his alarm clock. Startled, he rushes to his closet to change. Bobcat and The Mummy have vanished.

Sorry. Can’t talk long.

CLOSE ON COMPUTER SCREEN

Finally showing what Henry was working on: a business presentation with data tables and pie charts.

Henry returns to the laptop, buttoning a shirt, phone sandwiched between his ear and shoulder.

CLOSE ON COMPUTER SCREEN

He saves the presentation and closes it, opening his email inbox. Multiple subject lines are visible:

“Regarding Your Submission – Thank You…”

“Re: Screenwriting Fellowship Application – Unfortunately…”

“Job Opening – Position Filled.”

He creates a new e-mail, attaches the presentation file, and sends it off.

(badly lying)

Yeah, work’s good. The boss has been talking about me all week.

He closes the laptop.

Now dressed in an ill-fitting suit and tie, Henry juggles his work bag and cellphone as he leaves the apartment.

Yes, I turned in the rent on time. I gotta go. Love you too.

He hangs up. DING! A text message.

CLOSE ON PHONE SCREEN: “DON’T FORGET THE VISUAL AIDS!”

Henry checks his work bag. Dang it!

Groaning, he turns back to his door, fishing in his pants pockets for his keys. He can’t find them.

ARIADNE JONES, 20s, a cynical punk thief and hacker, drops into view. She uses a futuristic-looking scanner on the door.

Standard hardwood. No surveillance. A simple credit card should work.

Henry rolls his eyes, turning away. Ariadne scowls.

A voice emerges down the hall. Henry’s neighbor, RACHEL, 20s. An ambitious but weary go-getter, juggling too much at once. Professionally dressed with personal flair, artfully painted nails and earrings, she talks on her phone.

Have to approach it from another angle then. Call the team in for a brainstorm sesh.

She sees Henry, giving a friendly wave. He awkwardly waves back. Like Dr. Bobcat, Ariadne has vanished.

As Rachel walks past, a folder falls out of her bag. Henry picks it up, catching up with her.

Hey...

Oh! Thanks.

The two linger shyly but are interrupted.

(groans into phone)

That excuse again? You’d think she’d learn a new trick by now. Like how to disappear!

Mouthing “sorry” to him, she walks away.

JANGLE. Henry finally finds his keys in his jacket. Unlocking the door, he rushes inside.

Henry smacks a glacially printing copy machine.

Come on! Come on!

It sputters, finally spitting out the paper. Henry rushes to his desk, grabs the next page, and returns to the copier. It whines and groans, dying. He smacks it again.

No, no, no!

Hurry up, Henry!

Coming!

Panicked, Henry runs back to the desk for the pile of papers.

Engarde!

LOUIS DUMONT AKA THE SCARLET FOX, 30s, a daring, courageous masked swashbuckler, appears, lunging at the copier.

CRASH! Henry winces as Louis’s sword meets its mark.

The hunk of junk suddenly whines to life, releasing the page. Henry grabs it, rushing over to the perturbed Co-Worker.

You got everything?

Yeah.

What about the changes?

Changes?

Don’t you check your e-mail?

Henry looks at his phone.

That was ten minutes ago!

A deep voice clears its throat. The two go inside the boardroom.

THROUGH THE BOARD ROOM WINDOW,

Henry clumsily hands the papers to his COWORKER, THE OTHER TWO TEAM MEMBERS, and their stern boss, FERGUSON.

Setting things up, Henry clumsily begins. Louis mocks Ferguson from behind. Henry tries to ignore him, stuttering.

Ferguson holds up a hand. Walking over, he starts yelling. Despite being muffled, the entire office hears it.

Henry sits at his desk, deflated.

THUMP! He jumps as Ferguson slams a folder down.

We need this done. Tonight. 7 p.m. One second more and you’re gone! Got it?

Henry nods. Ferguson drops several more files.

These first!

Ferguson glares at Henry before storming off. Henry sees his CO-WORKERS also glaring. He gulps, getting to work.

Henry, now absolutely haggard, works on his laptop. He’s the only person left on the office floor.

DING! A message pops up on the screen: “Scheduled Maintenance From 6 to 8 P.M.” FOOM! The office lights shut off.

You’ve gotta be kidding me!

Henry enters, flipping on the lights. He turns to see Bobcat, Ariadne, and Louis sitting in a circle around an empty chair.

We need to talk, ol’ buddy.

Not now.

He moves toward his room. Louis blocks him with his sword.

Really?

He walks through the sword like it’s air.

Henry flips on the lights. The three now sit on his bed.

He pulls out his laptop, putting it on his desk. His phone rings. His mom again.

Hey, Mom. Can I call you back?

He hangs up. The Fictionals now crowd around his chair, invading his personal space. He tries to focus, but their looming and breathing make his jaw clench. He stands up.

I said I’d get back to you guys, didn’t I?

Right. After things “settle down”. How’s that going?

Oh, peachy!

We know you’re under much pressure, but we can’t do zhis alone. All of France is depending on me.

I’m sure as hell not gonna let the Corpos rule The City!

I’m just hopin’ to get to the treasure eventually.

The other two groan and shoot him dirty looks.

What?

You’re not real!

Henry’s phone rings again. The Co-Worker this time.

Hey--Yeah, I’m working on it! Yes, I’ll have it done in time!

He hangs up, carrying his laptop out of the room.

Henry puts his laptop on the counter, trying to focus again. The three are back in their seats.

At least make somethin’ happen! Playing poker with that stupid Mummy is gettin’ dull. Bonehead owes me 200 bucks.

As if on cue, The Mummy appears behind Bobcat, grabbing him.

Not again!

Ariadne pulls out a laser and fires. The Mummy disintegrates, leaving only his arms behind.

See? I told you he doesn’t care!

Hey! Don’t put words in my mouth!

I’ve had to watch my best friend die over and over because of you!

Henry goes quiet.

Like it or not, until the stories are finished, you’re stuck with us.

Henry stops, sincerely contemplating.

Fine. But only one at a time. After this is done.

Louis jumps to his feet.

Zen I should be first. It is of the utmost importance!

Right. Don’t want to miss dancing in puffy wigs, do we?

Says the imbecile who would destroy a tomb for a single trinket!

Dr. Bobcat walks over to Henry.

Escape a few traps, beat up some bad guys. Get the treasure. Boom.

You’re as bad as the Corpos! And what kind of name is Dr. Bobcat?

At least I’m not mistrustful of everyone I run into. The entire world ain’t against me!

This bickering escalates as all three start TALKING AT ONCE.

Guys. Guys!

He’s drowned out by the growing arguments. Dr. Bobcat and Louis raise their fists in fighting stances.

Henry’s phone rings again. The RINGING and the YELLING blend, growing LOUDER and LOUDER. Finally...

SHUT UP! SHUT UP!

The three go silent, shocked.

Will you just leave me alone?!

He storms out of the apartment, slamming the door.

Henry stops, almost running into Rachel.

Rachel! Hi...

Henry! Hey...

What are you doing here?

I heard yelling. Everything okay?

Yeah, sorry. I’ll try to keep it down.

What’s going on?

Just...arguing with a co-worker.

Oof! I feel that.

You do?

Yep. Big deadline coming up, and ol’ Alice is constantly behind and flakier than breakfast cereal.

(nervous)

Oh.

I hate to be the bad guy, but she’s holding the whole team back!

Rachel rubs her temples with a sigh. She winces.

Sorry. TMI. Been a long day.

No, it’s all right. That’s kinda what we were arguing about too.

Oh?

Henry freezes. Whoops.

(badly lying)

Co-worker was throwing a fit about the schedule...I have a meeting with a studio at the same time.

Wait, what?

Yep. Writing a sci-fi comedy. Early stages, but so far so good.

That’s awesome! What’s it about?

Signed an N.D.A. Sorry.

Which studio?

(dodging)

They’re particular about sci-fi projects.

Seriously?

Henry shrugs, moving to the door.

I better get back to it.

The door doesn’t open.

Oh, come on!

What’s wrong?

My door’s stuck.

Rachel tries it. No luck.

Might have to force it.

They brace and ram the door. No luck.

You piece of--!

Try calling a locksmith.

No time!

Henry checks his watch. The time reads 6:58 P.M.

Oh crap!

He desperately struggles with the door again.

What’s the rush?

The execs doesn’t like delays. Might pull the plug.

You said things were going well.

You know execs. Always strings attached.

That sounds like a crap deal. Why not go elsewhere?

It’s the best one I could get.

There isn’t a deal, is there?

Just drop it, all right?!

Rachel steps back, hurt, and walks away.

Fine!

Henry winces. He starts to follow. His watch beeps. 7 p.m. The deadline.

No, no, no!

He slams against the door over and over to no avail.

No...please...no....

He collapses to the floor in defeat. Dr. Bobcat and Louis appear.

Real smooth, buddy boy.

Frankly, I’ve zeen cowards face their fate with more dignity.

Spare me the pity party, all right?

You’re the one throwin’ it, pal.

Just go away! Please!

Ariadne appears.

Can’t. Remember?

Henry groans, putting his head in his arms.

Why did you create us?

(muffled)

What?

Why create us if you hate us?

I don’t--I didn’t...I was just trying to keep my job!

Why do a job that makes you miserable zhen?

You try being unemployed for a year and a half!

Why not have your parents help you again?

No! They should be enjoying themselves. Not helping my dumb butt!

Well, maybe now you can do something zhat makes you happy.

It’s not about being happy. It’s about doing what’s necessary.

True. Why else would we be here?

It’s the adult thing to do, okay?

Adults don’t talk to fictional characters only they can see.

Oh, yay. I’m nuts!

Nah. Just highly imaginative.

A fat load of good that’s done me!

He leans back against the wall.

I never should have come out here.

The three sit down next to him.

Why did you?

Because I’m a stupid kid that doesn’t know how the world works!

Not necessarily. What made you want to write in zhe first place?

...It was really fun. Building worlds. Creating characters. Going on adventures.

(smiles)

Letting your imagination go nuts?

Yeah.

Then there you go.

Oh, come on! I can’t just jump into the deep end again!

Why not?

Yes, you cannot abandon your own story, mon ami!

What if it’s all for nothing? What if I never get another job?

What if it turns into something?

Seeing his skepticism, she stands up.

Look. Sooner or later, you’re gonna have to decide what you want. Even if you fail, whose terms do you want to go out on? Theirs or yours?

Henry digests this.

Either way. It’s not good to keep all this stuff locked up.

Wait a minute...

He stands up and pulls a credit card out of his wallet. Ariadne smirks, knowingly.

It’s a bit of a long shot but-

He slips the card into the door latch and jiggles around. CLICK! The door opens. Dr. Bobcat and Louis celebrate.

Told ya.

Henry smiles gratefully before remembering...

The presentation.

CLOSE ON COMPUTER SCREEN

Henry types an apology email. Attaching the presentation file, he sends it off.

Dr. Bobcat gives a thumbs up from the bed.

Aces!

Ariadne watches from behind. Louis leans against a wall.

Well, that’s that.

What are you going to do now?

I don’t know.

Henry leans back in his chair to think, seeing Ariadne looking at the sci-fi posters.

I wanted to test myself. Do something a little darker. Make a badass female lead.

Ariadne smirks. Henry looks back at his laptop and turns on his printer, getting an idea.

The printer sputters. Louis smacks it, bringing it back to life. Louis winks at Henry.

Henry approaches Rachel’s apartment with one of his scripts, a note attached. He puts them down and knocks, walking away.

He reaches his door, this time finding his keys right away.

Rachel opens her door, looking around. Seeing no one, she turns to go back inside when she spots the note and script. Picking them up, she reads.

Rachel, you’re right. There is no deal. I wanted to impress you. Shallow and stupid, I know. I didn’t mean to be another Alice. I’m sorry. Henry.

Rachel frowns. She starts to crumple up the script, but curiosity gets the better of her. She opens it.

A figure joins her: her own Fictional, LYLA STARCOURT, 30s, a steadfast Space Ranger.

A rather strange being, isn’t he?

No kidding.

Scanning the pages, she looks at Henry’s door, thinking.

Still...

Henry’s Fictionals relax. Dr. Bobcat and Ariadne arm wrestle and trade scars. Bobcat points to his arm and leg.

Lion in Africa. Bandit in Buenos Aires.

Ariadne points to her neck and cheek.

Got that beat. Corpo with a cup of acid. Three shock batons at once.

Louis is trying to teach The Mummy how to sword fight.

Now, show me what you’ve got.

The Mummy moans, easily whacking Louis’s sword away.

I see. Care for a rematch?

The Mummy pauses before lunging at the swashbuckler.

The four look up as Henry returns, walking to his room. Trading looks, they follow.

They come up behind and watch as he types. The more he writes, the more excited they become. He’s back!

Ariadne playfully punches Henry in the shoulder.

Good on ya!

Henry nods in thanks with a smile.

He catches sight of his phone. Building up courage, he picks it up and dials. It rings. Finally, there’s an answer.

Hi Mom. Can we talk? It’s about work.

He winces.

I know, I know. I should have said something earlier. But don’t worry...I have a plan.

FADE OUT